// t_minus_christmas--d --h --m --s

> holiday_drop.exe --limited

❄UGLY SWEATERS❄

from the timeline

Six tech-meme Christmas sweaters, fully knitted jacquard. Made to order, knitted not printed.

browse the drop ↓

// the_drop (6)

We're So Back sweater

We're So Back

$89 $99 early bird · through Oct 31

It's So Over sweater

It's So Over

$89 $99 early bird · through Oct 31

AI / SI sweater

AI / SI

$89 $99 early bird · through Oct 31

Tis the Season for Orbital Compute sweater

Tis the Season for Orbital Compute

$89 $99 early bird · through Oct 31

Agents Are Handling It sweater

Agents Are Handling It

$89 $99 early bird · through Oct 31

Kardashev 2 or Bust sweater

Kardashev 2 or Bust

$89 $99 early bird · through Oct 31

We're So Back and It's So Over sweaters side by side

// bundle.exe --both-moods

The Full Market Cycle 2-Pack

One sweater for the euphoria. One for the capitulation. Own both moods and simply check the chart each morning before getting dressed.

$169 $179 early bird · through Oct 31

Close-up of jacquard knit stitches on a robot in a Santa hat

Up close: the jacquard knit, one stitch at a time.

// craftsmanship.md

Knitted, not printed.

Lesser holiday garments are printed, a mere layer of ink on a sad blank. Ours are different: each design is knitted directly into the fabric as a 4-color jacquard. The robots aren't on the sweater. They are the sweater.

Five matching red and green Fair Isle Christmas sweaters on a rack, each with a YOUR LOGO patch

// enterprise.exe --holiday-party

Custom sweaters for your whole team

Your logo, your founders, your inside jokes, knitted into a Christmas sweater. For the holiday party, the offsite, or swag people actually wear.

Learn more →

// FAQ

When does it ship?

All sweaters are knitted to order and ship the first week of December, in time for your holiday party. $4.99 flat-rate US shipping; we currently ship to US addresses only. Exact transit times vary by destination.

Sizing

Unisex crewneck, classic fit, sizes XS–2XL. Fit tip: it's unisex, so check the chest width against a sweater that fits you well.

SizeChest width
(laid flat)
Body lengthSleeve length
XS18 1/2″47 cm24 3/4″63 cm23 5/8″60 cm
S19 1/2″49.5 cm25 3/4″65.5 cm24 3/4″63 cm
M20 1/2″52 cm26 3/4″68 cm25 5/8″65 cm
L22″56 cm27 3/4″70.5 cm26″66 cm
XL23 5/8″60 cm28 3/4″73 cm26 3/8″67 cm
2XL25 1/4″64 cm29 3/4″75.5 cm26 3/4″68 cm

Garment measurements in inches / cm. Unisex classic fit; compare with a sweater you already love, laid flat. Sweaters may shrink slightly after the first wash.

Is the design printed?

Nope. Every design is knitted into the fabric as a 4-color jacquard, so there is no print to crack or peel.

What does "made to order" mean?

We don't keep inventory. Your sweater gets knitted after you order, which is why it ships in December and not tomorrow. Very lean. Very startup.

Returns?

Because each sweater is made to order, we can't accept returns for size or change of mind. If yours arrives defective or damaged, email us and we'll make it right.

Care?

Machine wash cold to warm (30–40°C), tumble dry low, no bleach, no dry cleaning.

How do I contact you?

Email us at [email protected]. A real human reads every message.

// support.txt

Get in touch

Questions about sizing, orders, or shipping? Email us and a human (plus his bot) will get back to you, usually within 1-2 business days.

✉ [email protected]